Purpose of Marriage

 Çré Bhaktivinoda

Öhäkura has expressed the purpose of marriage in the following

words:

“One should not enter marriage for the purpose of begetting children

or to worship the forefathers. Rather, one should think, ‘I accept this

maidservant of Kåñëa so that we may be able to assist each other in

the service of Kåñëa.’ This attitude is favorable to bhakti.”

Consequently, those who marry without a desire for children can

actually be true gåhastha Vaiñëavas. When a man truly regards his

wife as a maidservant of Kåñëa, there is no scope for regarding her as

an object of his own pleasure; instead his mood will be one of adoration.

It is a fact that there are statements that sanction the desire for

children, such as puträrthe kriyate bhäryä: “A wife is accepted for the

purpose of having children,” but the implication here is that one

should desire to beget servants of Kåñëa, and not ordinary mundane

children.

The word putra (son) is derived from the word put, which refers to

a particular hellish planet, and tra is derived from the verbal root

meaning ‘to deliver’. Thus the traditional significance of the word

putra is to beget a son who can deliver one from hell by offering

oblations after one’s demise. However, there is no possibility that

Vaiñëavas who regularly chant çré-hari-näma will go to the hell known

as put. Therefore they do not desire putras, but servants of Kåñëa.

Generally, a man who is bound by material conditioning, and who

pursues the path of fruitive action, indulges in sexual intercourse

with a woman in order to satisfy his lusty propensities. Children are

born only as a by-product of that desire. This is the reason why

people these days are generally of a lustful nature. As it is commonly

said, “ätmavat jäyate putraù – A son takes after his father.”

(Jaiva dharma)