Marriage
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Marriage is meant to facilitate the protection of women class in general.
Women need to be protected from the onslaught of maya, so they can peacefully perform devotional service at home.
The husband's duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband.
Srila Prabhupada's letter to gaurasundara
I hope that you are trying to follow the regulative principles and that both you and your husband are chanting your beads regularly daily. These two duties are essential for advancement in Krsna Consciousness, and if they are made the center of our activities, then Krsna will begin to answer all questions from within how to become further advanced in His loving devotional service.
Letter to Linda -- Los Angeles 19 February, 1970: Detroit
Always be engaged in serving the Deity; nice dress, nice jewelry, nice prasadam. Let Hamsaduta go for Sankirtana and take care of him. Your husband is one of my most foremost disciples. His life is very important, so take care of him nicely; that is your duty. He should live healthfully and peacefully, so see to it. That is my request.
Of course, nowadays a big pompous wedding ceremony is just to provide sense gratification, soon after this divorce, serial monogamy.
Wife's duty is not to disturb the husband. That is Vedic principle. The marriage relationship is not for sex.
Marriage is for sense gratification, this is a myth. Pursuit of happiness in material world is like catching a dog by tail. From the view point of srimad bhagavatam,
Śrī Prabuddha said: Accepting the roles of male and female in human society, the conditioned souls unite in sexual relationships. Thus they constantly make material endeavors to eliminate their unhappiness and unlimitedly increase their pleasure. But one should see that they inevitably achieve exactly the opposite result. In other words, their happiness inevitably vanishes, and as they grow older their material discomfort increases.SB 11.3.18
In Vedic culture, marriage is samskara (purification system) with the view of uniting male and female to enjoy the results of dharma, artha, kama and moksha. Husband and wife together lead a life of religiosity, earn wealth to enjoy regulated sense gratification with a expectation that eventual dissatisfaction of sense enjoyment will turn their attention to the pursuit of liberation, aka self realization. Vedic process is of gradual purification of contaminated senses.
BG 12.9, Purport:
Bhakti-yoga is the purification of the senses of the senses. At the present moment in material existence the senses are always impure, being engaged in sense gratification. But by the practice of bhakti-yoga these senses can become purified, and in the purified state they come directly in contact with the Supreme Lord.
Marriage in Krsna consciousness
I am very pleased to note that you will be getting married to Jagadisa, and try to serve him by helping him develop in Krishna Consciousness throughout both of your lives. Married life in Krishna Consciousness is the perfection of married life because the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krishna Consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krishna Consciousness. So in this way both husband and wife become happy and their lives are sublime. In Krishna Consciousness marriages there is no question of any separation or divorce. Any disagreement between husband and wife is not taken very seriously, as much as a disagreement between children is not taken very seriously. This is because the basic principle of married life in Krishna Consciousness is not whimsical lusts, but it is the eternal principle of rendering devotional service to Krishna. So I am enclosing* instructions for Rupanuga to perform this marriage ceremony, and both yourself and Jagadisa have my full blessings for long and happy life in Krishna Consciousness. I hope this will meet you in good health.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
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Always be engaged in serving the Deity; nice dress, nice jewelry, nice prasadam. Let Hamsaduta go for Sankirtana and take care of him. Your husband is one of my most foremost disciples. His life is very important, so take care of him nicely; that is your duty. He should live healthfully and peacefully, so see to it. That is my request.
710827 - Letter to Himavati written from London
Press Interview -- December 30, 1968, Los Angeles:
Regarding your personal question in the matter of relationship with your husband. Your relationship with your husband is all right. You must be faithful & devoted to your husband, Dayananda. Vedic system advises women to become very chaste & accept the husband as master. Your husband is especially good because he is progressing in Krishna Consciousness. I am very glad that you two are very good combination & your devotion for your husband & your husband's love for you are considered great achievements so I have also advised Krishna Devi for her husband, Subala. I feel very happy when I see my spiritual boys and girls especially those who have been married by my personal presence are very happy in their conjugal relationship. Even if there is some misunderstanding between husband & wife that should be completely neglected & you should always remain rigid in service of Krishna as you have written to say, it is pleasing to be in the service of Krishna. Discharge of Krishna Consciousness is our primary objective & all other relationships should be faithful to this principle. Follow this principle.
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Letter to Tamala Krsna -- Bombay 20 December, 1976:
Why the wife should be disturbed if she is living not in the association of her husband. When Caitanya Mahaprabhu went to East Bengal for preaching, his first wife was alone. Wife's duty is not to disturb the husband. That is Vedic principle. The marriage relationship is not for sex. Of course, that is the way in this age. So, such wife may marry for the second time, what can be done? Vedic marriage is not for sex.
Hoping this will meet you in good health.
Letter to Yamuna, Dinatarine -- Calcutta 13 January, 1976:
Sita Devi, Mother Laksmi, wife of Lord Ramacandra, went to live with Valmiki Muni in a cottage. Although she was a King's daughter and a King's wife, she preferred to live very humbly in the cottage of Valmiki Muni with two sons in the absence of Ramacandra. That should be the ideal example. Women when not with husband must live very very humbly and simple life.
You are exactly correct when you write that Krishna has benedicted you with a first class husband. In Vedic society no girl was allowed to remain independent and unmarried. Independence for women means they become like prostitutes, struggling to capture some man who will take care of her. In this way the so called independent woman has to work very hard to make herself attractive by artificially wearing cosmetics—mini skirts and so many other things. Formerly the girl would be married to a suitable boy at a very early age, say six years old. But although a girl was married early she did not stay with her husband immediately, but was gradually trained in so many ways how to cook, clean and serve her husband in so many ways—up until the time of her puberty. So all the time there was no anxiety because a girl would know—I have got a husband, and the boy would know I have got this girl as my wife. Therefore when the boy and girl would come of age there was no chance of illicit sex-life. And the pychology is the first boy that a girl accepts in marriage, that girl will completely give her heart to, and this attachment on the girls side for her husband becomes more and more strong, thus if a girls gets a good husband—one who has accepted a bona fide spiritual master and is firmly fixed up in his service, automatically the wife of such a good husband inherits all the benefits of his spiritual advancement. So you are fortunate. Go on in this present attitude, serve you husband always and in this way your life will be perfect, and together husband and wife go back home—Back to Godhead.
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