Query: Non devotee husband

Should a woman go back to Godhead by serving Krsna or ascend to heaven by serving non devotee husband? 

*Progress in Spiritual life cannot be obstructed by any material condition.*

If a chaste woman and devotee of Lord Krsna practices devotional Service along with her prescribed duties in Varnasrama dharma, then she is advancing in Krsna Consciousness, not degrading! 

manuṣyāṇāṁ sahasreṣu

kaścid yatati siddhaye

yatatām api siddhānāṁ

kaścin māṁ vetti tattvataḥ

Out of many thousands among *men*, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows Me in truth. ( Bhagavad Gita 7.3) please read the full purport. 

All girls should be married! With the help of the husband (either devotee or non devotee) she should practice devotional Service. Without the help of husband it is difficult for a woman to practice devotional Service. She must beg protection from other men. This is pity condition. 

Going to back Godhead is not so easy! Even knowing about Krsna is not so easy. As Srila Prabhupada quote in the purport, 

ataḥ śrī-kṛṣṇa-nāmādi

na bhaved grāhyam indriyaiḥ

sevonmukhe hi jihvādau

svayam eva sphuraty adaḥ

“No one can understand Kṛṣṇa as He is by the blunt material senses. But He reveals Himself to the devotees, being pleased with them for their transcendental loving service unto Him.” (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.234)

By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada and Spiritual master, we all are practicing Krsna Consciousness in this material world.  So, it doesn't mean that a woman married to a non devotee husband, you will not go back to Godhead. 

One cannot imagine how baby in the embryo could hear Narada, but this is Spiritual life; Progress in Spiritual life cannot be obstructed by any material condition. This is called ahaituky apratihata. Reception of Spiritual knowledge is never checked by any material condition. ( Srimad Bhagavatam 7.7.1) 

Rake Krsna mare ke, mare Krsna rake ke? If Krsna wants to afford us devotional Service, there is nothing in this world that can obstruct us.

On the other hand, if one marries a devotee, there are many opportunities for advancing in Krsna Consciousness by the help of husband, Pati Guru (Husband Spiritual master). It means you have favourable environment for progressive devotional Service. 

One shouldn't be envious about other women who have devotee husband.

Krsna puts us in the condition which is favourable for devotional Service according to our level of advancement. But we realize it lately. When we try to practice sincerely and praying to Krsna, we realize 

Krsna will be pleased and protect us (through His representatives), even in our inconvenient surroundings, we are trying to serve Krsna. We don't have inconvenient circumstances like Prahlada Maharaja, Kunti maharani, Draupadi etc. 

Teachings of Queen kunti must read for all devotees, especially female devotees 

Krsna as paramatma is guiding us from inside. And You can practice Krsna Consciousness under the direction of Guru, sadhu and and Sastra. Guru, Sadhu and Sastra are external manifestations of Krsna. 

Krsna will be pleased if we practice chastity either we marry devotee or non devotee. Because it is Krsna assigned us stri dharma. If we neglect then we are violating scriptures. We may not obtain the desired result. Not all paths lead to the same destination. 

Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī writes in his Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu (1.2.101):

śruti-smṛti-purāṇādi-

pañcarātra-vidhiṁ vinā

aikāntikī harer bhaktir

utpātāyaiva kalpate

“Devotional service of the Lord that ignores the authorized Vedic literatures like the Upaniṣads, Purāṇas and Nārada Pañcarātra is simply an unnecessary disturbance in society.”

Marriage is for protection of women. If all women starts to leave husband just because he is not devotee. Then it results in chaotic situation especially for women. We become unprotected and vulnerable to degradation.

Either way( devotee or non devotee husband) duty of a wife remains the same.

We can remember the topmost devotees cowherd damsels of Vrndavana, wasn't married to devotees, they lament like this,

Another gopi said, "My dear friends, just see the deer! Although they are dumb animals, they have approached the son of Maharaja Nanda, Krsna. Not only are they attracted by the dress of Krsna and Balarama, but as soon as they hear the playing of the flute, the deer, along with their husbands, offer respectful obeisances unto the Lord by looking at Him with great affection." The gopis were envious of the deer because the deer were able to offer their service to Krsna along with their husbands. The gopis thought themselves not so fortunate because whenever they wanted to go to Krsna, their husbands were not very happy."

Krsna book chapter 21