Principles of Chastity #1

 Principle# 1 Render service to the husband 

Let the (husband) employ his (wife) in the collection and expenditure of his wealth, in keeping (everything) clean, in (the fulfilment of) religious duties, in the preparation of his food, and in looking after the household utensils. MAnusmriti 9.11

The foremost duty of a chaste wife is to serve her husband. The virtue of a chaste wife or performing one's prescribed duty is explained a ancient story,

A certain young Sannyasi went to a forest and there mediated and worshipped and practiced Yoga for a long time. After twelve years of hard work and patience, he was one day sitting under a tree when some dry leaves fell upon his head. He looked up and saw a crow and a crane fighting on the top of the tree. They made him very angry. He said, “What, you dare to throw those dry leaves upon my head,” and as he looked upon them with anger, a flash of fire burst from his head – the Yogi’s power – and burnt the birds to ashes. He was very glad. He was almost overjoyed at this development of power. He could burn, at a glance, the crow and the crane.

After a time, he had to go into the town to be his bread. He came and stood at a door and said, “Mother, give me food.” A voice came from inside the house. “Wait a little, my son.” The young man thought, “You wretched woman. Dare you make me wait! You do not know my power yet.” While he was thinking thus, the voice came again, “Boy, don’t think too much of yourself. Here is neither crow, nor crane.” He was astonished. Still, he had to wait. At last, a woman came and he fell at her feet and said, “Mother, how did you know that?” She said, “My boy, I do not know your Yoga or your practices. I am a common, everyday woman. But, I made you wait, because my husband is ill and I was nursing him. That was my duty. All my life, I have struggled to do my duty. As a daughter, when I was unmarried, I did my duty. Now, when I am married, I still do my duty. This is all the Yoga I practise and by doing my duty, I have become illumined thus. I could read your thought and what you had done in the forest. But, if you want to know something higher than this, go to Benaras and to the market. There, you will find a butcher and he will tell you something that you will be very glad to learn.” The Sannyasi thought that you will be very glad to learn.” The Sannyasi thought, “Why go to that town and to a butcher?” (Butchers are the lowest class in our country. They are Chandalas. They are not touched, because they are butchers. They do also the duty of scavengers and so forth.)

But, after what he had seen, his mind was opened a little. So he went and when he came near the city, he found the market. There he saw, at a distance, a big, fat butcher slashing away at animals with big knives, fighting and bargaining with different people. The young man said, “Lord, help me. Is this the man, from whom I am going to learn? If he is anything, he is the incarnation of a demon.” In the meantime, the man looked up and said,”Swami, did that lady send you here? Take a seat, until I have done my business.” The Sannyasi thought, “What comes to me here?” But, he took a seat and the man went on, and after he had finished all his selling and buying, he took his money and said to the Sanyasi, “Come here, sir. Come to my house.”

So, they went there and the butcher gave him a seat and said, “Please wait here.” So saying, he went into the house and bowed before his father and mother. He washed them and fed them and did all he could to please them and then, came and took a seat before the Sanyasi and said, “Now sir, you have come here to see me. What can I do for you?” Then, this great Sanyasi asked him a few questions about life and God, and this butcher gave him a lecture, which is a very celebrated book in India, the Vyadha Gita. You have heard of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna’s sermon. When you have finished that, you should read the Vyadha Gita. It is the extreme of Vedanta philosophy. When the butcher had finished, the Sannyasi was astonished. He said, “Why are you in this body, with all the knowledge you possess? Why are you in a butcher’s body and doing such filthy, ugly work?” “My son,” replied the Chandala, “No duty is ugly and no duty is impure. My birth, circumstances, and environments were there . In my boyhood, I learnt the trade. I am unattached and I try to do my duty well. I try to do all I can to make my father and mother happy. I neither know your Yoga, nor have I become a Sanyasi. I never gave up the world, nor went to the forest; all this has come to me through doing my duty, staying in my position.”

 A deep silence surrounded them as the sage stared at the ground, contemplating on this revelation. This lady had not left her home. She had not renounced the world. She had not distanced herself from those she loved. Yet, living there, amidst all the distractions of the material world, she had reached the pinnacle of knowledge – Enlightenment!

Vyasa’s Mahabharata calls this lady as Anamika. Anamika in Sanskrit literally translates to ‘nameless one’. The point that Vyasa is trying to make through this story is that no one remains ordinary when dedicated to one’s own Dharma (duties). It does not matter whether one is an ordinary laborer, or a business leader, or even an insignificant politician – the greatest is the one who shows utmost perseverance and dedication to one’s work. One’s commitment is one’s Sadhana.One should not imitate the activities of great personalities.

From this incident we learn that, just by disowning material things and artificial control of senses by yogic method neither helps one in attaining knowledge nor spiritual progress. it's a useless endeavor. Everyone need not accept saffron robes to realize godhead. mere renunciation without devotional service is a mayavada contamination/ anartha to our devotional service. we need not sound like a karmi either, whose emphasis is on enjoying the senses by performing prescribed duties without devotional service. i correlate this story with yukta vairagya, an important principle upheld by rupanuga Gaudiya Vaisnavas.

anāsaktasya viṣayān yathārham upayuñjataḥ |
nirbandhaḥ kṛṣṇa-sambandhe yuktaṃ vairāgyam ucyate ||1.2.255||

Without attachment to sense objects, treating them accordingly in relationship with Krsna is called as yukta vairagya real renunciation (literally "engaged renunciation").

In the neophyte level (so long as pure love of godhead is not invoked in the heart of practicing devotee), renunciation from one's prescribed duties is not recommended. so long the desire to enjoy the senses is there in our heart even though may not be grossly visible in our dealings, one has to accept the Social system of VArna- asrama to purify our activities.

For sense enjoyment one can act in any capacity of the social order, but if one follows the rules and regulations of his particular status, he can make gradual progress in purifying his existence. (Srila Prabhupada's purport to Bhagavad Gita 3.6)

Krsna enlightens such a sincere materialist than cheap renunciant or imitator. we might observe that sincere person can gradually progress in spiritual life and mithyacara (cheating behaviour) in renunciant/ practicing devotee cause a person to falldown, even though one may great yogi or bhagavata slowly one becomes degraded if one imitates great personalities.

Assisting the husband in his devotional service is the prime duty of a devotee wife.  

Service can be done in 3 ways: through mind, speech and actions. 

mind dedicated to thinking favorably about the welfare of the husband. if you're blessed with a devotee husband, you might thinking of always helping in his service or how can you enable him to serve better in krsna consciousness. taking care of his needs, health, keeping the household clean and tidy, managing the finances to reduce the burden of husband in wordly affairs in best possible ways and allowing him to freely concentrate in his service. Remember, wife duly shares the spiritual advancements of her husband. Assisting the husband in his devotional service is the prime duty of a devotee wife. his service becomes your service. Just like sita, damayanti or kunti, if husband remains as a king she remains by his side like a queen, if he accepts renounced way of life or in unfavourable circumstances she stays with him testing situations put forward by demigods or according to karma.

living with non devotee husband is certainly difficult to have a similar kind of affection, respect one might have for a devotee husband. still one can be grateful for someone there to protect and provide your needs, you need not independently worry about them and saves much time to practice your service in krsna consciousness without delineating him.

senses are instrumental cause mind is the original cause, desires root in the mind based on material modes of nature. It is important that wife frames a favorable mindset of service to her husband. wife must practice cultivating sattva guna or situating the mind in goodness.

Even in our mind we might like not some things but still try to maintain our actions are favorably towards the husband, soon will overcome the enemies of mind. wife should be convinced her welfare lies in the welfare of her husband. mind can be purified by acting for the welfare of others. And by chanting the holy names of Krsna.

Therefore one should not trust his mind, which is so fickle that it can give way to enemies at any moment. The mind is always accompanied by six enemies — namely, kāma, krodha, mada, moha, mātsarya and bhaya — that is, lust, anger, intoxication, illusion, envy and fear. Although the mind may be merged in spiritual consciousness, one should always be very careful in dealing with it, just as one is careful in dealing with a snake. One should never think that his mind is trained and that he can do whatever he likes. One interested in spiritual life should always engage his mind in the service of the Lord so that the enemies of the mind, who always accompany the mind, will be subdued. If the mind is not engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness at every moment, there is a chance that it will give way to its enemies. In this way we become victims of the mind.Chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra engages the mind at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa constantly; thus the mind’s enemies do not have a chance to strike. (Caitanya Caritamrta madhya 11.10)

Speech : Austerity of speech consists in speaking truthfully and beneficially and in avoiding speech that offends. One should also recite the Vedas regularly. bhagavad gita 17.15

Chaste wife has to learn the art of speaking truthfully in a pleasing manner. generally truth always hurts. there is art of speaking things in proper place, time, in context, to people. speaking should be done convey thoughts without disparaging your husband. truth spoken without due consideration of imporper time, place or person or circumstances will cause bad effect. which a chaste women should be careful of. one hurtful statement may remain forever in heart and spoil the relationship. in business dealings one might sometimes tells lies which is acceptable in vaisya community. similarly in executing our duties we might have to lie, which is quite acceptable but not to overdo. A lie ( lie is different from cheating) which saves marriage is better than a truth which destroys it. Do not make it a habit. we have seen, our grandmother will never talk to grandfathers equally in publicly aloud voice unless it is an emergency or in the presence of other family members. husband wife talks are private in bedroom or in confidant. of course times have changed, wife is seen has equal companion, women have freedom of speech in modern democracy (considering the situation in kali yuga), our voices are respected, opinions are heard of. freedom is given one should not take undue advantage or stay within the limits/ one's maryada.


Minimise the speech, keep to minimum, we all have female friends to chatter out not excessively. Avoiding prajalpa. private casual talks should be done, that protects the marriage by avoiding husband from getting involved into a female girlfriend. learn the art of creating meaningful conversations. or talking about something you read in Srila prabhupada books or sharing realizations, current topics, etc. the best example is Parvati devi always inquiring about devotional service from Lord Shiva.


Service in the absence of husband, described by behaviour of LAkshmi priya devi, sita devi other chaste women, by concentrating her attention towards family, children and maintaining household in proper order and take up learn something new skills like crocheting, painting or 64 arts.


(1)

pativrata laksmi-devi pati-gata prana

anande sacira seva karaya vidhana



(2)

devatara sajja kare gaha sammarjana

dhupa dipa naibedyadi malya-candana



(3)

saba samskari deya devatara ghare

bahura silpataya saci apana pasara



(4)

e-i-rupe ache saci laksmira sahite

daiba niyojita karma na haya khandite



(5)

gauranga-birahe laksmi katara antara

anurage birahe byakula kalebara



(6)

biraha ha-ila murtimanta sarpakara

dekhiya laksmira mane ha-ila camatkara



(7)

damsileka se-i sarpa laksmira carane

laksmira swaraga prapti e locana bhane



TRANSLATION

1) Laksmipriya-devi, who is devoted to her husband, and who has dedicated her life's breath to her husband, happily serves mother Saci.



2) She dresses and decorates the Deity. She cleans the house. She burns incense, lights lamps, cooks for the Deity, prepares sandal paste and flower garlands, and performs many other like services.



3) Saci artistically decorates the Deity room in many ways. Rapt in this service, she forgets herself.



4) As long as they are rapt in the Deity's service, Saci and Laksmipriya are not broken into pieces by grief.



5) Still, in separation from Lord Gauranga, Laksmipriya finds her heart is tormented with grief. In His absence, her love for Him overwhelms her body.



6) Her grief in His absence eventually assumed the form of a snake. Seeing that snake, Laksmipriya felt great wonder in her heart.



7) That snake bit Laksmipriya's foot. Then Laksmipriya returned to the spiritual world. This Locana dasa says.