Wife: Maidservant or mistress or both?

When we always look for ideals in marriage, how to deal with realistic circumstances? 

This article is dedicated to all men who complain about their wives, for various reasons,  not enough beautiful,  not well skilled in job or not good in bed. Let's shift the focus to the female perspective,  What are things which men do unconsciously to make their wives depressed, unhappy in marriages? 

1, Treat your wife like you wanna her to be 

If you want your woman to be like a queen,  treat her like a one. Most of the husbands take their wives for granted as unpaid servants, cutting the finances, not providing amply or acting cruel with hidden agendas. 

Give then time, space and money to keep them happy, nourished and comforted. 

if the husband becomes too much attracted to the wife due to sex, the position becomes very dangerous. Women in general are very much sexually inclined. Indeed, it is said that a woman's sex desire is nine times stronger than a man's. It is therefore a man's duty to keep a woman under his control by satisfying her, giving her ornaments, nice food and clothes, and engaging her in religious activities. Of course, a woman should have a few children and in this way not be disturbing to the man.( SB 4.27.1, Translation and Purport)

2, Unattractive husband, not according to the liking of wife. 

This concept has been neglected,  a woman's opinion is not asked or still women feel sabotaged to voice her opinion. Parents will ask or persuade even if a girl isn't interested.  

A husband must be selected according to the liking of a prospective wife. 

Here two words are used very significantly-yathā-śīlam and yathā-ruci. The daughters should be handed over to the respective ṛṣis, not blindly, but according to the combination of character and taste. That is the art of combining a man and woman. (SB 3.24.15)

Apologies men, don't blame your wife for not performing her duties in bed. It means she is not attracted towards you. Unlikeable spouse is a big turn-off for women. 

3, Free her from family pressure.

Enjoyment and responsibility go ill together. That's why men seek out mistress despite having a gorgeous women at home. If you want your wife to be cute, bubbly and chirping, then relieve her from unnecessary family pressure. Mental pressure can be big turn off for women. Women's sexuality is never considered. Work pressure is different from family pressure. Family is relationships are valuable unlike colleagues. It's not what you imagine,  wives are just chilling at home while you work like asses!

4, Don't use your wife as sex object. 

Generally women are taken as objects of sense gratification. Most of the husbands take it granted to have sexual intercourse or abuse against their will, which is equally punishable. Any kind of oppression shouldn't be tolerated. This is the reason women avoid sex, because you never consider her pleasure side. For a change (to the vedic culture), perform sex only to give them happiness. To be crude, don't use your spouse as mastrubating pillow. Only a self controlled person can be good husband. 

5, Taking into consideration of Women's needs. 

Often women are viewed as caretakers, homemakers, it puts them on the pedestal of compulsory service to family members. They tend to overlook their needs to pamper their body. Gift them free massages for the aching body and relieve them mental pressure by taking her out if she is facing a bad day at home or be a supportive husband, when she is undergoing emotional crisis. 

If you do this, you will see the Princess in your wife.