Happy is a husband whose wife's peaceful. Having said that, I would like to begin this article, on section: key to successful marriage is peaceful wife. Srila Prabhupāda has stated 90% marriage fail because of women's weakness. What is that, Prabhupāda is referring to? What could be the weakness which destroys our marriage?
tato viniḥśvasya satī vihāya taṁ
śokena roṣeṇa ca dūyatā hṛdāpitror agāt straiṇa-vimūḍha-dhīr gṛhānpremṇātmano yo 'rdham adāt satāṁ priyaḥ ll Srimad Bhagavatam 4.4.3
The womanly weakness is stated in this verse by Sukadeva Goswami, Soka - sorrow Rosa- anger. Even a strong woman such as Sati wife of Lord Shiva is overcome by weakness of heart, to say nothing about wordly mortals.
Yaanaikkum Adi Sarukkum யானைக்கும் அடி சறுக்கும். Even elephants do slip. Even the mighty do slip. Everyone faces up and downs in life, due to influence of time even a strong person is defeated.
Key to cure the disease, is to identify the root cause. We have spotted that women are much more influenced by rājo-guṇa (symbolically represented as anger) and tamo-guṇa ( lamentation) than men.
when lust is unsatisfied, it turns into wrath; wrath is transformed into illusion, and illusion continues the material existence.
Lust, kama doesn't only mean gross sense gratification, rather desire that destroys our peace of mind. A wise person is able to conquer influences of rājo-guṇa.
sri-bhagavan uvaca
kama esa krodha esa
rajo-guna-samudbhavah
mahasano maha-papma
viddhy enam iha vairinam ll Bhagavad Gita 3.37
Anger and lamentation will delude our mind and blurs inner vision of heart. Essentially, it disturbs our inner serenity. The complexity of situation doesn't decrease the productivity of a tranquil person. A calm person can handle distressful conditions in a matured way. Serenity is an important component of emotional health.
Where there is affection and love, there is fear, misery. This attachment is the root cause of misery. Therefore, one should forgo attachment to attain happiness.
The expansion of ignorance is explained in this verse. The first ignorance is to identify one’s material body, which is made of five elements, as the self, and the second is to accept something as one’s own due to a bodily connection. In this way, ignorance expands. The living entity is eternal, but because of his accepting nonpermanent things, misidentifying his interest, he is put into ignorance, and therefore he suffers material pangs.
https://vedabase.io/en/library/sb/3/31/30/
To attain tranquility one must be situated in transcendence. Working on serenity means focusing on spirituality, understanding that things are beyond our control and letting go of things. Excessive attachment should be curbed. Inner serenity is attained only when you're the cause of your happiness, not others including husband, children and family. If you let your happiness in others hand, then misery is also inevitable.
We can give only things which we possess, unless we maintain our serenity how can we keep our husbands contended and peaceful?
SB 3.14.19, Translation and Purport: O respectful one, a wife is so helpful that she is called the better half of a man's body because of her sharing in all auspicious activities. A man can move without anxiety entrusting all responsibilities to his wife.
SB 3.23.52, Purport:
Material comforts will end with the end of the body, but spiritual instruction will not end; it will go on with the spirit soul. Instruction in spiritual advancement is necessary,
A Sadhu, when asked about his family, gently replied: Truth is my mother and realised knowledge is my father, righteousness is my brother, mercy is my friend, inner peace is my wife, forgiveness is my son. These six are my kinsmen. Canakya niti 12.11
Upon coming across this verse, divine inspiration came from within to compose the passage on wife should be a personification inner peace. Not a source of trouble.
Most men want easy transactions in life, they tend to move to someone who makes their life easier. It is duty of a chaste wife to maintain the family with peace and tranquility, thereby husband feels happy to spend more time in home sweet home than outside. Often we see wives complain, their husband doesn't spend much time outside. There is something to work on from side of woman. I assure, this piece of advice will help the readers to create a serenity in home and within.
Hare Kṛṣṇa!!
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